ABC’s of life change (See couples version below)

The ABC’s of Life Change is a workbook based upon the Biblical principles of the 12 Steps. This is a process for any Christian who desires Life Change in any area. It is not designed for recovering addicts although any recovering person could certainly benefit from it. It is designed as a practical and biblical process for any Christian who desires to grow in conformity to the image of Christ.

Preface: How the Workbook is Structured
Like a Three-legged stool
1. Instruction—The principles are taught and illustrated
2. Introspection—The participant applies the principle to himself/herself
3. Interaction—The group gathers to share their help, hope, and healing.

Like a Texas Two-Step
1. Each Step presents a Problem
2. Each Step has a Process

Like Alphabet Soup
Each step begins with a successive letter of the alphabet. This is to
provide the participant with an easy to remember outline that can be re-called
at any time and any place.

Like a Picture Collage

Introduction: The Emotional/Spiritual Principle
“You can never be more Spiritually Mature (intimacy with God) than you are Emotionally mature (ability for intimate relationships with people.)” Emotional immaturity forms a ceiling to our Spiritual Maturity. Emotional immaturity comes from emotional wounds that have never been processed and dealt with. Things like anger, bitterness, resentment, anxiety, mistrust and unforgiveness are the result of emotional wounds and they not only block our horizontal intimacy but because the two are connected in God's heart and His Word, also our ability to have real intimacy with Him.
1. All of us are emotionally wounded at some level. None of us have escaped the effects of the fall.
2. Therefore, every Christian can benefit from the support group process at some level to deal with what level of wounds are there.
3. The Tragedy is, our default position is to send someone to a counselor for emotional growth and to the church for Spiritual growth. They are both the mission of the Body of Christ because they are linked in Scripture.

Chapter One "A" Admit Powerlessness. (Step One)
I explain powerlessness as "Effective" powerlessness. In myself I don't have any power to control people, places, things "Effectively", which means with a positive outcome. Trying to control God, self, and others always results in life becoming “unmanageable.”

Chapter Two "B" Believe The Truth. (Step Two)
I am powerless God is not. In this I develop the power of belief in every area of life. About God, Self, and Others. I challenge people to understand that you can "Never Act Contrary to What you Believe." All behavior is motivated by belief. It is an exercise in futility to try to change behavior without changing belief. However, It is possible to act "Contrary to what you say you believe, think you believe, have convinced yourself that you believe." When there is a contradiction between "behavior" and "belief" that means there is a "Lie" underneath which is what I really believe. We have to discover the lie and replace it with the truth. This is painful and difficult. It is like peeling the layers from an onion. Eventually we can get to the core.

Chapter Three "C” Commit To Christ. (Step Three)
I explain what it means to "Turn my will and the care of my life over to God." There is actually a gospel presentation in this step for the person in the group who is not a believer.

Chapter Four "D” Discover Responsibility (Step Four)
In this step I talk about the difference between "Circumstances" (over which I have no control and no responsibility) and "Consequences" (which are the result of my destructive choices, attitudes and actions). This is a difficult and intricate process to learn the difference because we are always looking for someone outside ourselves to blame when most often the problem is in the mirror.

Chapter Five "E" Expose the Secrets (Step Five)
I talk about the power of secrets. Secrets make us sick. We are only as sick as our secrets. Secrets put bullets in the enemy’s gun to shoot me with!!
People need a "safe place" to tell their secrets so they can be stripped of their power. I use the Hospital Gown as a humorous illustration. It was designed for easy access not concealment. So were we.

Chapter Six "F" Focus on Faith (Steps Six & Seven)
This is the only step where we ask God to do something. We ask him to remove our defects. It is the faith step. I explain what faith is and what faith isn't. Faith is taking God at His Word. Every Promise He gives has a Premise I must live. So when I ask Him to change me I must commit myself to do things that He has commanded me to do.
I talk about the Difference between Fact and Feeling and how it is Faith that links the two. Fact must drive the train because the caboose "Feeling" has no power. Faith links Fact and Feeling.

Chapter Seven "G" Go and Get Right (Steps Eight & Nine)
This is the "going and making amends" step. I discuss that this is basically going to people that we have wronged, owning our wrong and asking for their forgiveness. However, before I can in good conscience ask someone to forgive me I must first deal with the people who have wronged me that I have harbored unforgiveness against. I do an extensive discussion of what Forgiveness is and what it is not. This prepares me to be able without hypocrisy to do step "G".

Chapter Eight "H” Heed the Weeds (Step Ten)
This is the continuing maintenance step. Daily inventorying my attitudes and actions. I talk about learning how to do a H.O.M.E. (Heat of the Moment Inventory) so that I change my "reactions" into "responses." This process utilizes Steps A,B,C, and D. Then there is the E.D. inventory (End of Day) to clean up anything during the day where I didn't do a H.O.M.E. inventory and thus acted wrongly. The E.D inventory then requires that I do Steps E.F. and G!!! If I do a H.O.M.E. inventory every time I would be tempted to "react" I could avoid having to do an E.D. inventory to do E,F, and G!!!

Chapter Nine "I" Increase God Contact (Step Eleven)
Up to Step 11 we have been dealing with the emotional blocks to intimacy with God!!! Therefore, the Christian disciplines can now have meaning and effect. In this step I discuss some of the Christian disciplines, how they are practiced and why they are nothing but religious ritual, empty, meaningless and repulsive to God until I am actively living a life of rooting out the emotional blocks to intimacy. It is like the Hebrews who continued to offer sacrifice even when they were chasing idols. God said your sacrifices make me sick to my stomach.

Chapter 10 "J" Just Do It! (Step Twelve)
This is the step of outreach. Taking the message Spiritual transformation to others and practicing these principles in everyday life.
Practice, Proclaim, and Pay it forward.

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ABC’s of life change for coupleS